Mom Burnout: It’s Real & What To Do About It!
Are you overwhelmed with your to-do list? Most likely you are experiencing mom burnout. It’s REAL. Mom burnout can strike at any time, and it can feel all-consuming. Learn symptoms, how to avoid burnout in the future, and how to recover from mom burnout!
Being a mom is a 24/7 kind of job that can definitely lead to burnout, especially because we also have to juggle many other things at the same time.
Is there anything we can do to get rid of the constant tiredness, and irritation, and become our former, more energetic selves? Yes, there is! It might take some effort, but mom burnout is definitely something we can combat so we can get back to being the type of mom we WANT to be.
Mom Burnout: It’s Real & You Could Have It!
It’s actually really easy for errands, house chores, and taking care of the kids to become a load that’s hard to carry around. We do these things every day and there’s rarely a break in sight.
Mom burnout is very real and if you are experiencing it, you are not alone!
Can Stay At Home Moms Have Mom Burnout?
I have heard stay-at-home moms say this all the time: “I’m lucky to be at home.”. Yet they are the ones most susceptible to feelings of depression, anger, and sadness.
The truth is, not all moms wish to stay at home and for those who actually do, the situation is likely better.
However, there are so many moms out there who stay at home because of family pressures or because they simply cannot afford the cost of childcare. And yes, daily chores, tending to the needs of children, emergency repairs, and anything else in between can be stressful for both groups.
It’s really not difficult to understand why stay-at-home moms can become sad and even depressed. There’s no break from the routine, they work mostly alone, and their schedule revolves around the needs of the kids.
Typical signs of depression in stay-at-home moms include:
- irritability
- frustration
- lack of energy
- poor memory and concentration
- loss of interest in favorite activities and hobbies
- trouble sleeping
Can Working Moms Have Mom Burnout?
Just because they have a job that may imply socializing with coworkers and clients, that doesn’t mean that working moms can’t experience burnout.
In fact, working moms need to juggle their career and parenting in between numerous smaller chores, and it can be exhausting.
Even more, the pandemic has forced many women to work from home, turning them into working stay-at-home moms. This can be very challenging, especially if the spouse works away from home and/or they can’t afford to hire help.
Multitasking, as fancy as it may sound, often makes moms feel overwhelmed, and for good reason.
Some of the most common symptoms of a working mom burnout are:
- low productivity
- poor job performance
- loss of enjoyment of activities previously appreciated
- sleeping problems
In other words, it doesn’t matter if you’re a stay-at-home mom or a working mom. The demands of motherhood are so great that any mom can experience burnout at any time.
What Do Mom Burnout Symptoms Look Like?
Mom burnout is real although it doesn’t necessarily look the same for everyone. We’re all different so if you already know some other moms going through a difficult time you may recognize some of their symptoms but you probably have some of your own too.
Here are some of the most common symptoms of mom burnout. If you are experiencing several from this list, that’s a red flag you shouldn’t ignore.
Losing Interest
Did you use to be a lively person with interests and hobbies that slowly faded once you became a mother? One symptom of mommy burnout is the lack of interest in performing activities you previously enjoyed.
No, it’s not just because you are busy with raising kids and doing house chores. The state of chronic physical and mental tiredness mom burnout can bring is also able to make you feel like doing nothing.
It makes sense because as a mom you pretty much have to do something all the time, whether it’s putting your baby to sleep or doing the dishes.
At some point, all you might want to do is rest, although you still will remain unsatisfied. Luckily, there are ways to break this vicious circle!
Sleep Problems
So many new parents are sleep-deprived that it is practically the new normal. But all this sleep deprivation combined with an increased load of activities during the day can really take a toll on your health.
A chronic lack of sleep will make it very difficult to get quality rest even when you really need it and will also have a negative impact on your mental health.
Sleeping under pressure doesn’t work for everyone. You might be trying to sneak in a snooze session every now and then but your nightly rest is the most important one.
So even if you can total those 8 hours of sleep, the afternoon snooze won’t offer the same benefits.
Creating a routine for your baby is essential to help you get adequate rest and it’s even more important if you are also working a full-time job.
Feelings Of Isolation
Trying to get everything done leads to feeling overwhelmed and can definitely have a negative impact on your social life. It can even happen that despite your feelings of isolation you end up avoiding other people which only makes things worse.
Recognize this unhealthy pattern and reach out to the people you love even if you are tempted to feel like no one understands you.
With a busy schedule, it is more difficult to maintain relationships but it’s totally worth the effort!
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Increased Irritability And Anger
The kids are clingy, there are errands that won’t take care of themselves, and the house looks like a mess! It’s no wonder that every little thing, even something small like a broken plate can set you off.
Constant tiredness, and the lack of time to properly relax, socialize, and do activities you love can turn you into a ball of negative emotions. For some it’s anger, for others, it can be sadness or despair.
It may be tempting to be hard on yourself. Instead, be honest and recognize the unhealthy trend so you can finally start to do something about it. Being gentle with yourself will be much more helpful.
Poor Personal Hygiene
As embarrassing as it may sound, it’s true! It’s actually very common for new moms to focus so much on their babies they personal hygiene and self-care get totally neglected.
While I am sure you are doing this for the love of your child, which is easy to understand, you still need to take care of yourself. It’s not just about looking good.
It’s about feeling like a normal human being and that means you need at least some basic self-care.
Generalized Aches And Pains
You may be experiencing physical discomfort in direct relation to your stress and tiredness. That’s because your body is paying the price for your poor sleep, lack of self-care, and everything in between.
It can be a terrible thing to wake up only to feel like you were running miles all night especially when there’s a newborn or toddler waiting for your care first thing in the morning.
Be mindful of your pains, regardless if it’s a headache or back pain. These are important signs your body is sending you telling that it’s stressed and needs to relax.
Difficult To Focus And Remember
No surprise here, right? Do you often forget the day of the week, a simple task, and other things you’re supposed to do? That’s what happens when you are tired, but it’s more than just physical exhaustion.
The main issue is that you’re simply trying to do too much.
This will have an impact on your parenting, job, and relationships with your spouse, family members, and even friends. To break out of this you will need to find creative solutions to lighten your daily load.
Anything goes…..from asking your husband and parents for help to better organizing your days and hiring help.
Other Symptoms
As I already mentioned, there are more ways than one to experience mom burnout. Perhaps you’re not the angry type but you feel sad and lonely all the time. You may have good personal hygiene and experience other issues like exhaustion and body aches.
Recognizing mom burnout is the first step towards fixing it, so here are some other common symptoms you may be going through:
- Decreased productivity
- Feelings of guilt over things you didn’t manage to get done
- Physical discomfort such as headaches, and digestive issues
- Appetite or weight changes
- Getting sick more often
- Overwhelming worries
- Feeling resentful
- Needing to be alone
How To Practice Self-Care and Recover From Mommy Burnout Stress
When you’re stuck in a mild depression combined with baby care exhaustion, everything can seem hopeless. However, it’s worth fighting to get out of a destructive routine to establish a new one that will help you get back on track.
Taking care of your mental health needs to be the priority – it’s like what they say on airplanes. You need to take your air mask first before you help someone else with theirs.
Here are some strategies you can try to recover from mom burnout. As with any routine change, I recommend you take a step-by-step approach.
Rather than attempting to completely shift your daily schedule, implementing new habits gradually will make it easier to transition and stick to them long-term.
Ask For Help
I realize that asking for help is easier said than done. It doesn’t mean there are no solutions, though! Hiring help is one way to go about it but obviously, many families cannot afford it.
Talk to your husband and see if he can take over some of your chores, or maybe allow grandparents to step in at least a few days a week. Sometimes even friends would be willing to give us a hand, but we do need to ask first.
There are, of course, other ways to free up your schedule a bit. Stop doing grocery runs and order your weekly shopping online. Meal prepping is also highly beneficial as knowing in advance what you will cook for the week will make it easier to do your weekly shopping in one go.
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Get Organized & Set A Schedule
Kids of all ages have an easier time developing if they have a solid routine, and guess what? It’s good for the parents too!
Feeding and sleeping times won’t be erratic and you’ll know exactly when you have free time if you make the effort of planning your days ahead.
Don’t be afraid to keep lists of tasks, meal plans, appointments, and any upcoming events. There’s no need to fit all that information in your brain.
In fact, it might just free it up enough that you’ll have time to do activities not related to your children and not feel so forgetful all the time.
Need a little more help? Check out 12 Genius Time Management Strategies for Busy Moms and learn how to accomplish more in less time!
Make Time For Yourself
Having some free time to go out with a friend, do a workout, or just get your nails done and chill is essential to maintaining your mental health.
That’s why asking for help is so important. It doesn’t matter if the help comes from your husband, another family member, a friend, or a babysitter you paid, learn to accept and embrace it.
Our maternal instincts can be too strong at times and we need to admit we are not 100% in control at all times. That’s impossible. We’re also more than just moms and we need to take care of that part of ourselves too!
Set A Date
A newborn baby can impact your marriage too. Being tired and exhausted all the time doesn’t leave much room for romance.
Even so, spending some time with your husband on a weekly basis is something you both need to maintain a healthy relationship and banish those feelings of loneliness you may get as a burned-out mom.
Take A Social Media Detox
In between breastfeeding and chores, a lot of moms bury themselves in social media, endlessly scrolling through their feeds. However, this activity can increase feelings of isolation, guilt, and the dreaded FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out).
What do we see on social media? Happy people with happy kids, super clean homes, amazing vacation spots, and the likes. It’s so easy to forget that everything looks better in photos.
And perhaps those really clean homes were purposefully tidied because guests were coming while most of the time they look like a mess.
People always try to post the best moments of their lives on social media and seeing too many of those while you have dinner in the oven and struggling to bathe your little one at the same time is not encouraging. It can just make you feel like you’re failing at everything and missing out on life.
The simple fix for this problem is to reduce the amount of time you spend on your phone and stop comparing yourself to other moms.
It’s a good idea to find some other activities you enjoy that would be perfect to sneak in between chores. Getting sunshine and fresh air every day will also contribute to your mood so find a way to work that into your routine, even if the kids will still be with you.
Go walk the dog (it works wonders for me)!
Teach Your Kids Independence
Being a helicopter mom is no fun! And no, it doesn’t mean you should leave your children unsupervised. It means you need to teach them how to perform basic tasks and the earlier you start, the better.
For a toddler, it means tying his shoelaces, for a tween it can be folding his clothes, and taking the trash out. There are chores appropriate for all ages, and teaching them to your kids will not just lighten your load, it will also help prepare them to become functioning, independent adults.
Build In Fun
When we focus on the negative, the negative circumstances seem to take over. However, when we focus on the positive, the positive circumstances seem bigger.
Whether you plan an at-home spa day, a girl’s night out, a girl’s weekend, or anything else, do something that’s rejuvenating and fun!
Want to make it a regular thing? Treat yourself to one of these Best Subscription Boxes for Moms We Absolutely Love for a monthly treat you’ll look forward to!
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Mindfulness Activities For Treating Mom Burnout
Mindfulness is the ability to be fully present at the moment and when you’re down, it can really sound too good to be true. The good news is that humans naturally have this ability, you just need to stop ignoring it and embrace your mindfulness.
Overcoming mom burnout is possible and I am sharing some of my favorite activities that will hopefully help you get to your old self back in no time.
Meditate
Meditation is a great way to combat stress and anxiety. I recommend starting with quick sessions, such as first thing in the morning.
However, you can sneak in a bit of meditation throughout the day as well, especially during times when we are forced to sit idle like being stuck in traffic or waiting in a line.
I love to diffuse some calming essential oils while I meditate to help me relax even more. Rocky Mountain Oils is my go-to essential oil supplier and I’m sure that if you give them a chance, they’ll become yours too!
Stretch Your Body
All those aches and pains you might be feeling are the result of stress, insufficient rest, and too much work done for everyone but yourself. Repetitive motions such as picking up your toddler and carrying him around can be just as harmful as too much sitting.
Stretching is a highly effective method to relax your muscles, maintain flexibility, increase the mobility of your joints, and reduce overall pain. You can perform basic stretches or even give yoga a try.
I highly recommend yoga as a physical activity for everyone that is overworked and has a busy schedule, not just for moms. It emphasizes stretching and breathing but also offers challenging moves designed to tone your muscles.
It’s also a low-equipment workout since you just need a mat to start with so you can do it at home and even when traveling. Furthermore, you will find tons of yoga workouts online for all levels so there’s enough variety available to keep you from becoming bored.
Want some other at-home exercise inspiration? Check out 30-Day Fitness Challenge Ideas for Busy Moms that any mom can squeeze into their day!
Make Sleep A Priority
It sounds like a cliche, I know but a good night’s rest is a sure way to have a happier, more functional family. Establishing a nighttime routine is great for both parents and children. Check out 5 Awesome Bedtime Habits to Help You Sleep Better!
If you and your husband are constantly tired you will also be more susceptible to fighting and in general, tolerating one another’s bad mood.
The same goes for the little ones…..we all know how irritable and cranky tired children can be. Check out How To Create A Healthy Bedtime Routine for Toddlers for some helpful tips.
Get Your Sunshine
Spending time outside is so important for both our physical and mental health. Sunshine regulates our circadian rhythms and there is much to benefit from this when it comes to getting quality rest during your night sleep. It’s also a natural mood booster which just shows how much we actually need it.
Try to incorporate daily outdoor activities with the kids in your routine and reap the benefits for the entire family. Outside playtime is something all children need as it allows them to spend some of that seemingly endless energy they have. I definitely see this as a win-win situation.
Make Every Moment Better
Doing chores and running errands can be super repetitive and this kind of boredom mixed with tiredness won’t do you any good. Ask yourself: “What can I do to make this task better?”.
Vacuuming the entire house? Play some music in your earbuds and it will definitely become more fun! Making sandwiches for the kids? Pay attention to your breath, how your hands feel while they work, and practice a quick meditation right then and there.
There are always ways to make daily activities more pleasant, you just need to get creative about it! One thing I love to do when I need to lighten my mood is to listen to one of these 17 Laugh-Out-Loud Mom Podcasts.
Reclaim your time and energy with these actionable tips you can start using today! Grab these free time-saving hacks I use every day!
Final Thoughts On Keeping Mom Burnout At Bay
Mom burnout is a very real thing, whether you are a stay home mom or a working mom! First, you must recognize you are suffering from it, and then make some life changes in order to treat your mommy burnout and reduce stress.
Just don’t forget to be patient when trying to overcome burnout. You didn’t get to this stage overnight so it will take some time to bounce back. What’s even more important is to be kind to yourself and acknowledge your efforts (for both yourself and your family) while letting go of perfection.
You’ll never get everything right, your home will rarely be as spotless as you see in magazines, and yes, sometimes you will be too tired to take a shower and jump in bed like that.
Being a mom means dealing with imperfection on a daily basis so let go of that notion and just do your best. Taking care of yourself and recognizing your worth is the first step toward balancing your personal and family life.
I love the easy and simple tips you suggested. This is something I can easily incorporate in my Self Care Day routine. I cannot stress the importance of taking care of yourself because when you’re happy, everyone else around you is too. Cheers! 🙂