How To Teach Conflict Resolution Skills For Kids

Conflict is a part of life because there will always be people who disagree with each other. Unfortunately, solving conflict peacefully doesn’t necessarily come naturally. Kids need help learning conflict resolution skills – and many adults do too! Use these ways to help kids learn how to resolve conflict in a positive and effective way.

Humans are social beings which also means that conflict is a part of our lives (at least occasionally), starting from an early age.

Think: squabbling siblings!

Learning how to solve and deal with conflicts is a necessary life skill and one that even grown-ups are having a hard time mastering.

Conflict resolution skills for kids are just as important as for adults, and the earlier they are taught, the better. Luckily, kids just learn things faster and better than adults do!

These skills can be taught step-by-step and will play an important role in your child’s emotional development. Regardless of whether it’s a small squabble or a deeper issue, kids who learn conflict resolution are more likely to become happier adults with fulfilling social lives.

Teachers and parents often step in and solve conflicts between kids, which is a quick solution, although not the best long-term. This referee-type of approach can make children reliant on adults for conflict resolution, which is hardly ideal.

With that in mind, I’m sharing some ways of implementing conflict resolution strategies and activities for kids that will help them progressively learn this valuable life skill.

After all, the goal of parenting is to raise happy, thoughtful, confident, and self-sufficient kids, right?

What does conflict resolution mean?

Conflict resolution is a way for two or more parties to find a peaceful solution to a disagreement among them. Of course, disagreements can vary a lot, but this definition stands true for all of them.

As usual, the theory sounds really simple. Applying it is a totally different story! And a hard skill to work on with kids but certainly not impossible.

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Why is it important to teach kids conflict resolution skills?

Children will unavoidably have to face conflicts, and the issues causing conflicts will only get more serious as they progress towards adulthood. Teaching your kids conflict resolution skills will ensure they develop healthy relationships and emotional intelligence.

It’s not just about solving the conflict…..it’s also about teaching young ones to deal with their own feelings and identify those of others. No need to feel intimidated, though!

There are amazing strategies that can be used to turn children into problem solvers capable of successfully maintaining friendships throughout their entire lives.

What types of conflict resolution skills should kids know?

Kids are very good at learning from our examples. Do you know that old phrase “do as I say, not as I do”?

Well, I know from personal experience that phrase was born from kids repeating the ACTIONS they see their parents doing rather than the things their parents say to do.

Kids are a bit like informational sponges that way. And it’s up to us to model the behavior we expect from them. If we set the right example, they will surely get the knowledge they need to succeed in life.

And guess what? This applies to conflict resolution skills as well!

Essential Conflict Resolutions Skills To Teach Kids

Here are the most important conflict resolution skills kids should learn and know:

1. Empathy And Tackling Feelings

During conflicts, strong emotions can arise quickly. If kids don’t know how to manage their emotions, the conflict can explode into acts of violence and broken friendships.

Teaching kids how to deal with strong emotions is the first step toward conflict resolution. Taking a deep breath and counting to ten are great ways for kids to dismiss negative feelings and become calmer.

Kids often squabble for insignificant reasons that are significant TO THEM. Showing your child empathy in these moments is a wonderful way of teaching it. No matter how big or small the reason for their conflict is, your presence will make your kids feel like you support and understand them.

It will also help them learn how to feel and display empathy. You may not be solving the conflict, but you are certainly nudging your child in the right direction, which is ultimately the goal.

Discussing their feelings is just as important. Over time, kids will learn to identify various types of feelings and related non-verbal cues so they can better interpret the opinions of others.

It’s very often that conflict occurs from the misunderstanding of feelings and visual cues. By teaching your child to express their feelings in a calm way, they will naturally become better at solving and even preventing conflicts.

2. Efficient Communication For Conflict Resolution

Our young ones can often have trouble with communication….even more during a conflict when emotions run high. Once you teach your child how to communicate and listen to the other involved parties, they will have mastered a new skill vital for ending the conflict.

It’s always a good idea to have all the kids involved in a conflict calmly express their feelings regarding the situation. This way, everyone will get to share their opinion but also listen to what the others have to say. This will help children understand the perspective of others and learn to agree or disagree politely.

3. Master Problem Solving

You being present during a kid’s conflict doesn’t mean you have to solve their problems.

However, you can be there to provide emotional support, to help them ask the right questions, and in general, offer guidance when needed.

Simply keep an eye on them and allow the kids to discuss various solutions and find a way to solve the conflict that will make everyone happy. This could be as simple as learning how to make goals to work towards something.

Making decisions together will help them better tackle other conflicts in the future, even without adults involved.

4. Learn To Apologize

Kids can express exaggerated behavior when strong emotions occur, such as during conflicts. Sometimes apologies are needed, and faking them is not the answer.

It’s a good idea to explain to your child that making mistakes is a natural part of life and offering a sincere apology is a sign that they care for the other people involved.

This can be very difficult for strong-willed children, but it’s essential. It’s the part in which all your talks about feelings and empathy will pay off.

Understanding emotions and the way others feel will definitely help your little one become willing to give a real apology when needed.

Tips For Teaching Kids Conflict Resolution Skills & Strategies

Conflict can be unpleasant even if it’s just between kids and you’re the witness. It doesn’t mean it’s impossible to solve either.

Here are some practical tips for teaching kids conflict resolution skills and ensuring they can have meaningful and lasting friendships.

1. Apply Calming Strategies

When children engage in conflict, it can be difficult to trigger a civilized discussion with so many negative feelings present. This can be especially true when kids are acting impulsively through heightened emotions.

Employing some calming strategies for kids is the first necessary step toward conflict resolution.

Your chances of making the little ones share and listen to others’ thoughts and feelings will be much higher if they are not upset.

Luckily, there are tons of calming strategies for children that really work!

It’s true, that not all of them are suitable for use during conflicts but here are several perfect for the occasion as they can be used in a pinch:

• deep breaths
• counting heartbeats
• squeezing something
• jumping
• getting hugged

If you have a sensitive child and you are looking for even more calm down strategies for kids, check out this post – it’s full of great ideas!

2. Words Are Powerful

Young children may not realize the actual impact of their words. To engage in problem-solving for conflict resolution, kids need to understand what they say and how they say it matters and can’t be taken back.

As parents and caregivers, we have to teach them that actions like calling names, making fun of someone, or talking to them like they are “less than” are hurtful.

Provide real-life examples of when words can have a negative impact and explain that being respectful and calm always yields the best results when communicating with others.

Kindness takes work, but it also yields amazing results with conflict resolution!

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3. Support Imaginative Play

Imaginative play is one of the most freeing types of play kids can engage in. For them, it’s a great way to process real-life events, including emotions, and social interactions.

Children often add real-life experiences to their imaginative play, and those sincere moments can be relevant for parents as well.

They can help you better understand your child’s inner thoughts and feelings, as well as potential topics you may need to discuss with him later.

4. Outcome Analysis

After your child manages to end a conflict, it’s a good idea to talk about the outcome. Talking about the effects of their resolution will help him better understand the value of it and why all the steps taken to get there were necessary.

If the outcome wasn’t the expected one, you can always brainstorm new possible solutions with your child and what could have been done to reach the desired resolution.

Conflict Resolution Activity & Game Ideas For Kids

With conflict resolution games and activities, you can help your children develop the social skills necessary to tackle such problems before they even begin.

What’s more, these games and activities can be quite entertaining so they will allow you to spend some quality time together with the young ones.

1. Conflict Resolution Games That Help Teach Skills

Toss & Learn – This is a simple and fun dice game designed specifically to improve conflict resolution skills. It will help children improve their problem-solving abilities, listen, show respect, and, it can be played individually or in teams.

Emotional Rollercoaster – Playing this game is an entertaining way for kids to learn and control strong emotions, express themselves, and solve problems, among others.

You Know – A great all-around game perfect for building relationships, self-esteem, and promoting positivity.

Chill Chat Challenge – Aimed toward teenagers, this is a game designed for family bonding, and for improving relationships even across generations.

2. Partner Drawing

Partner drawing is a great way for kids to improve their communication skills. Sitting back to back, one has to describe a picture to their partner (without telling what it is) while he is trying to draw it according to the instructions.

As you can imagine, this is hard work, so it’s a wonderful exercise to teach kids how to communicate but also listen.

3. “I feel…..when…” Statements

This is a simple activity that will allow the kids to share their emotions but also listen to others’ feelings and form deeper, more meaningful friendships.

You can even complete the first or last part of the sentence to steer the discussion towards difficult emotions or situations.

4. Role Play

Role-playing is super fun for kids, and it will make them feel relaxed and more eager to share their thoughts.

Make use of some real-life scenarios to practice some conflict resolution strategies with your children.

It’s similar to the imaginative play we discussed above, but this time you are steering the storyline and offering your child the opportunity to learn various conflict-inducing situations and potential solutions.

Conflict resolution skills for kids are crucial. You can use the conflict resolution activity and strategy ideas here to help with teaching kids these important skills. 

Conflicts between children can have a lot of negative effects: from frustration and repressed emotions to anxiety, broken friendships, and even violence. It’s always a good idea not to leave your child’s social skills to chance.

As harmless as it might seem in those moments when the kids are fighting over a stuffed toy, teaching them conflict resolution skills will have a positive impact on their emotional development.

Teaching your little ones to express their feelings, empathize, communicate, listen, and solve problems are important skills that will help them in the long run, not just during childhood.

Don’t be afraid to use various activities and games to teach conflict resolution skills to your children. Ultimately, it will make your job a lot easier, and most of them are great as a family or even classroom activities.

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